The mixed bag that is Mother’s Day.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and I will call my mother.  We will talk, we will share affections, and I am extremely grateful for the privilege of having her still in my life.

I will celebrate the day with my wife, and hopefully we will get to see Dear Child tomorrow- but when they are twenty, they are often doing their own things.

I won’t see my daughter. Her absence from my life is heartbreaking.  It is an open wound that never fully heals.

I will also never experience motherhood in the traditional sense. My womb is strictly theoretical, and I will never know the experience of pregnancy, the joy of childbirth, the heartbreak of childloss.

For that, I’ve been told that I am lucky.  People say they would change places with me at the drop of a hat.  To never have a period, to never have cramps, to just… never.

What those folks don’t understand is the aching hole in my heart, spirit, and psyche from the womb that never was and never will be.  So when memes circulate on social media about “listing your children” in honor of Mother’s Day, I have no good response because it hurts, and it’s a hurt I can never heal nor put to words.

Be kind to one another, for this day is a day of sharp pain for many of us.