About six weeks ago, I dared to dream and took a chance to move forward and do the work that needs to be done – to be challenged, to grow, to achieve the academic and personal successes that I was denied prior to 2010.
I aimed for the stars, and applied to a program that would have allowed me to complete my undergraduate degree nearly debt-free. I told my story with all its flaws and triumphs, and unfortunately, a combination of unusually keen competition, limited slots, and half a decade removed from the classroom brought me just short of the mark.
I did not expect the rejection to sting as much as it did. It hurts, and last night I alternated between grief for a dream denied and anger at a perceived insult to my abilities. It took a night celebrating family, laughs with friends, and an unexpected lunch with some of my favourite people to pause the cycle of self-pity long enough to restore some perspective.
Even with that perspective, I don’t yet know where to go from here. The decision by [school name redacted] to not admit me hasn’t affected my end goal of ministry. It does change the path I envisioned to get there, and while I don’t know what the new path looks like at present, I do know it won’t stop me from doing the work I am called to do.
Tomorrow morning, I will formally join my faith community. The next few days, weeks, and months will bring conversations, research, and plans for the future. Truly, there is much for me in the here and now, and in this place. The school’s rejection is not the end of my story; it is but the beginning of the next chapter.
After all, the road goes ever ever on.